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Health & Fitness

MARTA Induced Misanthropic Rantings

I’ve got the misanthropic malaise. This is undoubtedly due to overwork, not enough play, and includes my recent perusal of all things MARTA. The vision of the noisy, smelly, carboney, public transport system is not exactly as inspiring as the horse pastures of Milton, now is it? 

For instance, I just read a recipe on Pinterest that includes ‘gluten-free chicken’ as an ingredient.  Yes.  Chicken is gluten free.  If you don’t know this, then your problem is not gluten.

Or, take the Miley Cyrus debacle.  Miley singlehandedly ratcheted down my opinion of the whole human race.  Unfair, I know, but look at what we’re capable of.

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And then there are the bigger political issues, like:  

 Is MARTA smarter for Alpharetta drivers?  This is the question MARTA will be asking us in late September at Alpharetta City Hall.  To be honest, I did not particularly like riding the MARTA trains when I was in my 20’s.  If I have the choice to ride it into midtown from Alpharetta will I choose this?  I’m not even sure if they are phrasing the question right.  Shouldn’t the question be, “Do you (Alpharetta) want to be linked by means of taxpayer funding, government subsidies and some percentage of a private entity to 38+ other MARTA rail stations, mostly throughout the city of Atlanta, as well as the neighborhoods subsequently linked by bus routes emanating from those rail stations, and how often will you use these links and does your usage and frequency of usage justify the eventual cost and subsequent changes to zoning, development, aesthetics and police protection along those rail lines including your own city limits?” – There.  That’s the question. 

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The GMO debate.  Fine.  You believe that the world is being taken over by Monsanto.  Fine.  You believe that Americans are being led unwittingly into eating chemical laden, gene perverting ‘food’ that will produce a new race of centaurs.  But, guess what isn’t fine?  The world population is HUGE, thanks to antibiotics and synthetic fertilizers, the second of which consists of components that are finite.  Depleted synthetic fertilizers mean less food.  Less food may mean Americans finally lose weight, but it also may mean that countries have millions of starving people.  Starving people = revolution.  And I don’t mean revolution in a good way.  I mean revolution as in bloodshed.  Is this fine with all you Monsanto haters? 

People Who Take Down Trees to Install More Lawn.  In my neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods, I continually see this being played out.  So, you want to spend more money on lawn care and have higher energy bills at your house?  And you are going to have, what, a 2nd rate Bermuda lawn that you will have to pay someone to fertilize, spray chemicals on to kill the bugs and diseases, and then mow?  Go turf industry!  You are the real Monsanto!  

And then finally, there's the Snobbery of Dog Food. I recently acquired a new pup and I, wanting to feed her the best, began going to the local pet box stores, as opposed to my old habit of shopping at grocery stores, for pet food.  The first visit was full of eager optimism as I paid the $2.80 per can for an elite brand of dog food.  Over the next few weeks, I looked for miracles....a coat so bright and shiny I needed sunglasses; a perfect balance of mind and body that resulted in a dog with model behavior and grinning acceptance of all my commands and wishes.  In fact, I just got my regular dog and the usual amount of doggy poop to scoop.  Next visit, I pared it down to the $1.80 can of dog food.  Same results, but better conscience.  By the third visit, I dared to inquire of store staff if there was some less expensive dog food in their store.  The employee, barely looking at me before walking away, said, "You can always just buy the Alpo".  The Alpo!  Along with all the other criminals and dog abusers, I could just buy the Alpo!  Oh well.  Maybe I'll just opt to cook my pup some of that gluten free chicken.  

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