Moms Talk: Should Teens Be Allowed To Stay Out All Night?

Each week, your Alpharetta-Milton Moms council receives emails from readers who pose a question about parenting that they would like us to discuss. We select one question, answer it with our own personal opinions and then open the discussion up to other Patch readers. We hope that you will join in on the chat by adding your comments in the comments section below the article. If you would like to contribute a question, please hit email the author. Today's question is for you parents of teenagers out there and we hope you will join us with your opinion.  

Q: My teenager has been invited to many parties in the last few weeks. Some of them include staying out all night. Would you allow your teen to stay out all night long? Should kids have a curfew and what time should that be? At what age should the curfew end?  

A: Uh...  No!  First of all, how old is this teenager?? There is a HUGE difference between a 13 year old and a 17 year old. Still, I don't think staying out all night is appropriate for anyone in the High School years unless there is a valid reason other than "hanging" or "partying". As they age, they get more and more freedom as they've proved they're able to handle, but there should be a limit. It's really up to the parents to know their kids. There are some teens that are entirely trustworthy, and their idea of staying out all night includes going downtown to care for the homeless... really! And there are others... well, we don't even need to go there.

Parents who give their kids more rope than they are ready for are just setting their kids up for trouble. There isn't much good and positive stuff going on out there past a certain hour. And even really good kids get caught up in things they otherwise wouldn't do. Don't forget that pack mentality thing, and a young person's inability to always stand up for themselves, or the right thing.

I know where my kids are at most any time, and if I don't, its because I've entrusted another adult who I have touched base with or know well to take over such responsibilities. My kids hardly even roll their eyes at me anymore when I ask for the parent's name and phone number before they go over or sleeps over another kid's house. And I have yet to find a parent who doesn't appreciate my touching base with them. If anything, I think it empowers them to do the "Geeky" parent thing, and not feel they're the only one out there. And you KNOW I'm going to really appreciate that kid whose parents call me... I'm going to feel that much more responsible for their child since I know the parents have shown whats important to them.

-Audrey Greenwood, mom of 3

A: I don't yet have teenagers, but I remember the late nights I had as a teen and I think the old saying still holds true "nothing good ever happens after midnight." I think teens should have a curfew, if they want to spend more time together, start earlier in the day. I think a curfew somewhere between 10-12 midnight as they get older would be reasonable.

-Teri Harrison, mom of 4

A: I remember being a teenager and have to agree with Teri that nothing good happens after midnight. I remember all of the excuses I gave to stay out late and what I did. There is no way I want my kids out doing what I was out doing at 16!

That said, my oldest child is turning 11 this summer so I have a few more years to "forget" and learn to accept the fact that teenagers do what teenagers do sometimes and there are many lessons they have to learn on their own that I can not protect them from.  I'm scared and not ready to be a mom of a teen.

-Tammy Bester, mom of 3