Moms Talk: How Do We Handle Girls And Rumors At School?

Each week, your local group of moms gets together and answers a parenting question that has been  sent to us. We encourage our readers to send us questions and help us answer these questions by adding your opinions to comments section below the article.

We hope you will join us in the discussion this week regarding girls and rumors. All of us who are female have been through it as preteens and teens and all of us would like to find a way to keep our daughters from having to go through it too. 

This is the letter that we received from a local mom. 

"My daughter's friend called her as soon as she got back from school to tell her another friend was spreading rumors about her in their class that my daughter likes to kiss people. I heard her asking her friend on the phone if she could report to their teacher or the girl's Mom. I told her to ignore the rumor. I also told her not to report to her teacher or the girl's Mom. I lectured her on how people are different and that some young girls spread rumors just to make themselves look good and others look bad. I also told her not to listen to rumors or gossips;If anyone comes to her to discuss others, she needs to tell them politely that she does not gossip. How would you handle this situation?"

Q: How would you handle the situation if your daughter were faced with this dilemma? 

A: I would have handled it the same way.  Leave it to the kids to work out.  They'll need the skills to deal with unfair behavior throughout their lives.  And it's a great way to learn how NOT to treat people

-Audrey Greenwood, mom of 3

A: I had a similar situation with my son and girls starting rumors at school. It was very upsetting and embarrassing to him, especially as a middle school student. We talked about rumors, how they start, the type of kids that start them, and how to end them. He took a day or so, but it all was worked out without the parents or teachers involved. It did open the discussion about how information gets passed around and allowed for a  gentle reminder about how what is said online and via text messages is very easy to pass around as once it is typed, it is there for anyone to read.

- Teri Harrison, mom of  4

A: I agree with how you handled this. Unfortunately, that is behavior that she'll encounter many times throughout her life. As you noted, however, use it as a reminder about how important it is not to talk about other people, whether a rumor or true. Remind her how this incident has made her feel and that she wouldn't want to cause that pain to anyone else.

-Ronna Ruppelt, mom of 1

A: I would use this as a lesson to point out that rumors and gossip are ugly and they hurt people. I agree that I would tell my child to act like it did not happen  and to ignore it. If someone says something to her about it, I would tell her to blow it off. The rumors will not be fun for the other kids if they are not creating drama to keep them going. true friends will not spread the rumor further but stop it in its tracks. I think you did a good job, Mom, in the way you handled it and I am scared for my daughter to get into the preteen years and have to face the stress and drama of middle and high school.

-Tammy Bester, mom of 3